Note to Self by Anna Bell

Author:Anna Bell [Bell, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2022-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

I slipped a cardigan round me and took my pillow before I crept up the stairs; I didn’t want anyone to know what I was doing. Joel held the door open for me when I arrived and I hurried into his room. I was embarrassed seeing him in his tight boxers, despite the fact that I’d spent most of the summer seeing him in swimming trunks. I should have been used to seeing his torso, but in that moment it felt different.

‘I’ll just sleep on the floor,’ I said.

‘Don’t be silly, you can sleep in the bed. There’s plenty of room for the both of us.’

‘Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose.’

‘You wouldn’t be.’

I knew he was probably just being a gentleman, but I was hoping it was a sign he felt the same way.

We climbed into bed and he pushed the cover towards me making sure that it was covering us equally.

‘Quieter?’

‘Much,’ I said.

I lay on my back, my hands on top of the duvet, rigid in fear, wondering what on earth had possessed me to do this. I was now only a few centimetres away from him and he was half-naked, and my pyjama shorts and top were not exactly the Victorian passion killers he’d seen me in before. I was convinced that he’d be able to feel how rapidly my heart was beating.

‘Edie,’ he whispered.

‘Yes?’ I just about managed to reply.

‘Are you tired?’

‘Not really,’ I said honestly.

He rolled over slowly to face me and propped his head up with his hand.

‘Do you think dreams are windows into souls?’ He sighed, cringing. ‘That sounded way less cheesy in my head.’

I could hear the embarrassment in his voice and I wanted to reach out and touch him, and to stroke his face to reassure him that he had no need to be.

‘It was deep, I kind of liked it,’ I said, inching a little closer to him.

We talked in hushed whispers nose to nose for what could have been hours or just minutes. Time seemed to both race by and stand still all at once. A storm had started to rage outside and the rain was hammering on the tin roof.

‘You know, when I was teasing you a few weeks ago about being in love with someone, you never did answer. So, are you?’ I asked eventually. It was the one question above all others that I wanted to know the answer to.

The room lit up with lightning and I could see the way that he was looking at me intently, and in that moment I wanted him more than I ever thought possible. He leant towards me and our mouths were so close. I could feel his breath on my lips. We were going to kiss.

But before our lips could touch we heard a scream and leapt apart.

‘I think it’s Soph,’ said Joel. ‘It came from downstairs.’

He scrambled out of bed, and I was right behind him. We ran down the metal staircase only to find Soph kicking out Green Eyes.

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